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Unique Beliefs to 4 Gateways Coaching
All aspects of an issue are essential and belong to the system. Even parts of individuals or systems that are denied,
hidden, and projected must be included to produce long lasting, healing resolutions.
When we make a place for all aspects of an issue, we can clarify their meaning and importance to use
and learn from them. Using the 4 Gateways we embody and explore all parts of the individual or system.
When all parts of our inner world or any system we work with are recognized, honored, and given their
rightful place, change and healing are possible. In fact, meaningful change begins by giving all parts
their rightful place.
If we want to coach ourselves or coach someone else at the soul level we have to begin by including the
marginalized parts that have been denied, hidden, or projected onto others. We deliberately search for
those shadow parts, the marginalized and the missing, such as the part that feels rage or jealousy . . .
the part of us that controls others, or other parts we don't want others to see.
When we exclude any aspect of a person or system, that energy will hover as a
ghost and cause problems. When all parts are recognized and honored then
there is a sense of respect and peace. Love and energy can flow freely.
Acceptance sets us free. When we can own our Shadows, the alienated parts of ourselves, and respect
them, we have the possibility of change and happiness.
This belief is a variation on the one above. We assume that we can't
really release something from our lives until we really have it, know it, and
accept it as ours. As long as any pattern remains in the shadow, it will
continue to influence us from the unconscious. With awareness we can see
how we behave and then we truly have the option to change. That power to
change happens in the moment, and can't occur without knowing that all parts
belong to us and that we have real choices about with ones we identify with.
Resolutions often come from unexpected directions. The Gateway we have
least access to often becomes the best place to look for solutions.
We have observed that we often do quite well in accessing any one, two, or even
three of the Gateways to wisdom, but the fourth is little used and undeveloped.
Coaching can help bring the fourth Gateway into consciousness and thereby give
us access to much greater depth. The most underutilized Gateway in each of
us becomes the opening to the mystery, a door to the soul. Both in
individual and group processes the key to coming to a new awareness and creating
a satisfying resolution often comes from that seemingly "weakest link."
Recurring, persistent issues and addictions are ways of keeping us connected
to someone we love.
One of the most startling and gratifying gems of wisdom we have learned over and
over from going through this process is that we are all deeply loving beings.
In fact, we are so loving that we will suffer almost any pain and dysfunction,
even to the point of becoming addicted, seriously ill, and even dying to prove
our love. This assumption that we take on burdens to connect to those we
love is one of the cornerstones of 4 Gateways Coaching.
Armed with this awareness, the 4 Gateways Coach can offer choices: one, to
continue the pattern, knowing that we do so out of love and change might be too
risky, or two, to make a conscious choice to love differently, less painfully.
In this second case the changes may come quickly and dramatically or come slowly
and gradually over a number of years. In either case, the context of the
persistent pattern is seen for what it is . . . love and connection. This
knowledge in and of itself can be healing and transformative.
All feelings, emotions and body sensations are allies.
In this work we use body wisdom: movements, gestures, and sensations from the
body, including any pain or physical symptom, as essential gateways to wisdom
and deeper understanding.
All great coaching makes use of feelings, emotions and body sensations.
Just ask Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, and Jimmy Carter how important feelings and
gut wisdom are to their success. We all have a profound emotional and
physical intelligence that is often overlooked by conventional education
and training.
We attack and wound others out of our own woundedness. Real strength comes from knowing
and honoring our wounds and then owning our projections.
The 4 Gateways process is often about embracing the unloved, the wounded and
shadowed parts of ourselves that we deny and project onto others.
Our assumption is no one is inherently evil or bad. Our ways of being
arise from our physical, familial and cultural context. Our darkest
potential and our brightest gifts come from this same source. Recognizing
our power to hurt and be hurt gives is a foundation of self awareness and
courage to face life's issues directly and potently. When we can bring
these seemingly unlovable parts to the light we can stand in a true strength that
comes from honoring our total being.
Story, archetypes, and metaphor are food for the soul.
Human beings are storytellers. Language began out of our deep desire to
tell each other the stories of our lives. The stories we tell are the
process of using our creative imagination and engaging archetypal energies.
These archetypes are access points to our deepest wisdom and provide nourishment
for our souls that only seeing the whole story can provide.
Awareness of all our potentials is the key. In this model we connect with
four primal archetypal circuits to access the wisdom of the soul, we determine
how the energy of each archetype might inform us and guide us. We put on
and take off these archetypal energies, as we would costumes in a state play.
It is important to note that archetypal energy is high voltage and can become
dangerous when one gets too identified with a single archetype. For
example, there is a big difference between being "The King" and using kingly
energy in your life. Both Elvis Presley and Saddam Hussain became obsessed
by the King archetype and paid the price for their inflation.
© Tom Daly, Ph.D. 4 Gateways Guidebook, 2003, Chapter 2, pp. 13-25.
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